just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
