I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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