4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
