do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize