Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
