After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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