guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
