I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
