haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
