Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
