i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
