dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize