Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(848): View more from New Jersey

life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.

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(518): View more from New York

Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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(516): View more from New York

we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

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(260): View more from Indiana

I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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(308): View more from Nebraska

What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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(516): View more from New York

There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No idea. I blame fireball.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Valid.

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(925): View more from California

skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship

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