O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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