Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
