so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
