Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
