One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
