i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
