I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
