Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
