I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
FUCK WHALES
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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