I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I understand Curling. That high.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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