So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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