Kiss
Puke
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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