dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
