Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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