apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
