he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
