Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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