Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
