what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
