I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
