(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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