so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
