You can't special order awesome
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
