PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
