Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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