I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
