Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
