You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
