You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I FOUND THE LEGS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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