I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
