No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm too high and old for this...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
