dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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