is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
