Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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