there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize