I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
