There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
how does that bad decision feel?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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