And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Every concussion has its silver lining
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
