So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
