so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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