i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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