Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
