I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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