Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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