I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
