Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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