First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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