Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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