I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
