..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
