Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I looked at my own cervix.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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