so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
