Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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