No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
