told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
