Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cut my penus on the lid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
