Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
