my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
