I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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