I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Small penises have feelings too.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Randomize
