Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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